I’m learning to be…

I’m learning to be me! Yes, I’m 30 years old, been married 10+ years, have 2 amazing children, lived multiple places, served my country, and I’m just now learning who I am. I am a peacemaker. I like to stay in the shadows. I hate (all caps) being the center of attention.  I hate (all caps again) conflict and will avoid it at all costs…even when it affects me negatively. I love Jesus (I confess that I need to be more in the Word). I try to carry other people’s burdens. I worry. I procrastinate all the time. I love especially the unlovable. I smile especially when I’m nervous. I laugh at weird times. I cry while watching sad movies. I write especially when bad things happen. I will go over and above for you. I care too much at times. I over-analyze everything. I don’t wear makeup alot (one, I’m not comfortable putting it on and two, I don’t want the attention…I’m weird…I know). I almost never leave the house without my hair done (my mom is a hairdresser….so I get it honest) I love coffee especially on a mommy date with a close friend. I love pinterest (I need to do some of those 4000+ pins). I only have a couple close friends. I love my family. I love it when my hubby tells me I’m beautiful (sometimes I have a hard time believing it honestly…something I’m working on) I don’t have good depth perception. I love to coupon. I love to budget. I don’t bring cards, I normally don’t send cards. I love a good pair of flip flops (and would wear them all year). I’m patient (most of the time). I want to make sure people are happy and not mad at me…I strive with everything I have to make people like me…so is this a good thing?..not always! I’m sure I’m learned a lot more about myself that I just can’t remember at the moment (mommy brain). Oh yeah, my sweet little man’s smile can melt me (I think he is figuring that out…) and my sweet girl’s funny faces can make me laugh on the worst days (little man is picking up on that too)…

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In the last year, I have found who my real supporters and friends are, the ones who know who I am and are good with it. I’ve had to quit some relationships while growing others….that’s hard for me because like I said, I want to be friends with all. I’ve learned to quit putting my everything into a relationship when it is not reciprocated. It is hard, most definitely! Do I drive myself crazy with it (I use too)….but I’ve finally learned that being me is perfect for me…

 

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IMAGE: http://shauntee.com/tag/falling-in-love/
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