Who Knew…

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So…I’m going to take you on a journey…it’s an open journey, a real journey…for years now I have dealt with having a short fuse, being irritable, cranky, tired, no energy, headaches, brain fog, restless leg syndrome, weight gain, always hungry, irregular periods and feeling like I’m PMSing CONSTANTLY and primarily taking it out on the ones that I’m closest to…it became my new normal…I HATED it…it was like I was on an emotional roller coaster…I couldn’t seem to control my emotions…I could see myself getting irritated and reacting to the situation by yelling and yet wondering “Why am I yelling?”…

Now, you have to understand that I’ve been going to the doctor for 10 years for my thyroid (my primary care doctor never sent me to an endocrinologist, a doctor who studies the thyroid during all this time). I have hypothyroidism. The doctor said for years that I have had infertility issues due to my thyroid so that is why my periods are so irregular and because I have poly cystic ovarian syndrome.

So in November 2016, my period was very late and I wasn’t pregnant. Finally, it did start 11 days late…so I called my women’s health doctor who said that I needed to see an endocrinologist (because this has gone on too long…over 10 years remember)…BUT my primary care would have to submit the order. My husband and I are both veterans and go to the VA…so to be seen by the doctor and especially a specialty doctor can be like pulling teeth!…

So December 2016, I finally was approved and went to see the endocrinologist…I had done my research, at this point, I was tired of taking my thyroid medicine because it didn’t seem to be doing any good (except my thyroid levels were good on the doctor’s charts, but I felt horrible all the time)…so I went in to the appointment with my research. I was in tears because I was so tired of feeling so horrible all the time. I honestly thought that I had adrenal fatigue. Well, I told the endocrinologist all of this and I didn’t see the point of taking the thyroid medicine anymore. So in the office, he opened up my file and the next words out of his mouth have changed my life…he said, “You are taking IRON right, because you have had little to no iron for a LONG time”…I said, “What? No. Why?”…He said, “I know what your problem is….You don’t have adrenal fatigue and if you stopped taking your thyroid meds then you would only feel a little worse than you do now because you have NO IRON! You are anemic.” ….I sat there scratching my head thinking…I feel this way because of my IRON really?

That night, my husband went to the store and picked me up some IRON supplements. I have been taking the IRON since…just one every night…now, the endocrinologist did send me to a hematologist to confirm. One of my levels that they were watching was 13 on December 29, 2016 and the same level was 39 in Feb 2, 2017 (which is getting better!) The hematologist sent me to a GI doctor who confirmed that my IRON has not been at the right levels for a LONG time! I did have a colonoscopy and endoscopy in Feb 2017 to make sure that there was no internal bleeding (which there wasn’t…PRAISE GOD!)

Since I’ve continued my thyroid meds (I never stopped taking them) and I have added one iron supplement at night…I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER…my periods are normal and aren’t as heavy, I go to the bathroom regularly, I feel more in control of my emotions, I’m not nearly as tired…my WHOLE attitude has changed!! (Just ask my hubby and kids…)

Now, I’m not a doctor, but it makes me wonder how many people are taking mood stabilizers (my primary care wanted me on those) or depression meds when they just need IRON…WebMD Iron Deficiency

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From the Heart…

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So I’ve been thinking a lot about what I’m about to say…it will probably ruffle some feathers, but I don’t know if I’m the only one annoyed by this (if so, oh well….)…what is it, you might ask???

Why do mothers seem to always have an excuse or act like being a mother is so horrible? (maybe horrible isn’t the best word)

It just seems like constantly on social media there are all these articles and blogs about about how difficult and tiring motherhood is…and yes, it is hard and it is tiring but life is all around hard at times and tiring at times.

It just seems like like mothers these days act like motherhood is so much hard than ever before…I’m mean mothers have been around since the beginning of creation.

Why can’t there be blogs about how GREAT being a mother is, how WONDERFUL being a wife is, how YOUR CHILDREN are a BLESSING, and how living LIFE is INCREDIBLE instead of how hard being a mother is, what a struggle mothers have, that moms just need a break…

I mean come on, we don’t have to use an outhouse anymore, we don’t have to cook over a fire, we have heat and A/C, we get to grow our own food (we don’t have to because of grocery stores), we can jump in our vehicle and go anywhere, we can enjoy fellowship with others on social media, emails, phone calls….yes, motherhood is stressful, being wife is stressful, running a household is stressful, being an adult is stressful…

It just seems to me (maybe I’m the only one) that mothers don’t realize their STRENGTH, their ENDURANCE, their GRACE, their ABILITY…(and this applies to fathers too) to accomplish what they were CREATED to do!

Hope this doesn’t ruffle too many feathers or step on too many toes…but take a step back (even if you step on a toy), relax and enjoy the little things and being WHO GOD CREATED YOU TO BE…a mom, a wife, a person!

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Loving ME!

 

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So one of my goals this coming year is to devote more time to LOVING ME (easier said than done…). I think as a wife and mother, you are constantly doing for everyone else that you forgot that you are in the mix too…

I want to teach my kiddos that in order to love anyone…you MUST love yourself first. You MUST take care of yourself. In taking care and loving yourself, you will be able to love all.

5 Ways to Love Yourself MORE:

  1. Spend time in the Word (whether it’s 5 minutes a day or more…)
  2. Do something special for yourself (like painting your fingernails and toenails..YAY! (by the way, I did that this morning…)
  3. Do something for someone else just because (if that’s your gift)
  4. Take time for you (schedule it if you have too…after the kids go to bed, early in the morning (it would be before the sun got up for me…)
  5. just LOVE you! Love all your flaws, imperfections…instead of looking in the mirror and seeing what you don’t like…make yourself SEE what you LOVE (that is definitely going to be the MOST challenging for me…)

lymm

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NEW! NEW! NEW!

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So it’s the new year…out with the old and in with the new! New Year’s Resolutions (YEAH RIGHT)…like everyone keeps those…so I’ve decided to try to make some simple changes for life, not just because its the new year but the new year does create a opportunity to begin again…

My changes (or potential changes, I guess I should say)…

1. learn to be more patient and not yell (easier said that done…I know all moms struggle with this)

2. take care of me (along with taking care of the hubby, the kiddos, the dog, the house, etc….but no seriously, taking care of you is essential)

3. working more on a cash budget for our food/fun budget.

I’ll be blogging about the good and the bad throughout my changes…hopefully they don’t fail…we will see how that goes…any advice will be GREATLY appreciated!

(Forgive me for no communication through the holidays…it’s been crazy, we’re still not fully moved in, going through boxes but other than that no new updates…moving is more than enough!…hope you all had a wonderful holiday season!)

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Catching You Up…

So much has happened since I posted last…you’ll understand shortly why I’ve been behind on posting…

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WE ARE MOVING!!

(same town, just a little ways away from our current house)

Let me rewind to you will understand our process…about a year ago, we started discussing moving…our kiddos were 5 and 1 (almost 2) and our current house is 3 bedrooms/2 bath (but 1 bedroom and bath are in the basement)…so basically we have a 2 bedroom/1 bath…so right now, our kiddos share a bedroom, our living room is the playroom, and laundry is like a mountain EVERYWHERE (please tell me I’m not alone on that one)…

In February of this year (2016), we paid off our van! YAY!! DEBT FREE!!! (You can see my post about that HERE!) So once we paid off the van, the search began. We looked and looked and walked through many many house…we thought we had found one in May but it ended up falling through due to water and mold issues…so we had to pay for the inspections on the house…so we said, we’re done…we’re not going to look for a while because we don’t want to lose anymore money…In June, our sweet Leia fur baby passed away…you can read all it HERE…tears still…

So a few weeks after Leia passed, it was a Monday morning at 7AM…I get a text from our realtor that says…YOU HAVE TO CHECK THIS HOUSE, I’M SENDING YOU A LINK NOW!…so we got online and looked at it and fell in love…we went and looked at it that night and put an offer on it the next day…God totally orchestrated it out for us…the price, the location, the house (IT FITS OUR LIST) and every detail, even the family that will be renting out our current house…WOW! I said last year at Christmas that this would be our last year in this house, well, my words are not returning void…I’m just amazed that during our grief of losing our sweet fur baby, that God moved and opened this door for this new house…we should be closing Aug 5th (We’re currently waiting on the confirmation from the bank)…so be praying for us…

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When you just…

So since the beginning of this blog…I’ve decided to be very open (which isn’t easy)…because it makes you vulnerable…in saying that…

Have you ever had times that you just want to scream…at God, at whoever might walk by or even just scream at the sky? That’s how I feel…

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For the past (almost) eight weeks, I have taken care of our Leia (not just me..my hubby has been incredible!)…so as you can see from my recent post “Having to Say Goodbye” that last Thursday, our Leia went to be with Jesus…now, we knew it was time, we had done EVERYTHING that we could do…it was a long difficult battle and she fought it until the end and passed sweetly in HIS arms from ours…so its been a very hard few days…tears daily for sure…

Our sweet girl (who is 6) is still processing it (as we are) and is currently asleep in the living room on the last blanket that Leia laid on on Thursday…our sweet girl is so heartbroken and I don’t know what can fix it other than time and love…

Our little man is on the couch in just a diaper because beginning around 6pm tonight…he started throwing up…so he fell asleep around 8:30pm and hopefully it will be a peaceful night…

One more thing, I’m in college at the University of Phoenix and of course, tonight is my last night of my last class to become a Certified Financial Planner and I have homework due and the little man gets sick…(I did get my home completed about 10 minutes ago)

So I just felt like either crying or screaming or both…I might jump around and pitch a temper tantrum while I’m at it…being a mom is hard and at times VERY overwhelming…let’s not talk about my house or my pantry (haven’t had time or been able to go grocery shopping)…I started a new job in the middle of all this too…(thankful to my wonderful co-workers for being there)

so give yourself some grace…breath…and don’t give up!!!

Oh, one more thing…it was my birthday yesterday in the middle of all of this…so happy birthday to me…

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Having to say Goodbye…

As I sit here with tears streaming down my face…we had to say goodbye today…

Our sweet Leia girl went to be with Jesus this afternoon….thank you Princess Leia for being our sweet companion, amazing protector, and incredible friend…we will miss your cuddles, slaps to get more cuddles, nightly rituals of making sure the kids are safe and tucked in, goofiness, and just all around amazing dog that you are…see you soon before you know it…love you and miss you already our baby girl….you captured our heart and lives in ways you probably never knew…

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We got Leia when she was just 6 weeks old…she looked like a little lion cub…she has always been the sweetest, gentle dog I’ve ever met…afraid of storms (most definitely) but she would fight for us if she had too…(scared a few people that should of been around our house)…

Seven weeks ago, she started getting sick, I was up all night with her and the first vet we took her too gave her fluids and put her on some nausea medicine (which we found out that she was sensitive to medicine…so she had almost EVERY side effect)…we thought she was good a week later, she started getting sick again…we took her back to the 1st vet and more medicine was given and an ultrasound was taken that showed no blockages…3 weeks into her illness she stopped eating (that was 4 weeks ago)…we ended up switching vets because after discussing some things with close friends and dog lovers…we realized that worms test we never done…the 2nd vet did a heartworm test which was negative, a fecal sample was done and a small tapeworm was found (we thought that was causing some weird things she was doing), medicine was given immediately and it was taken care of…the 2nd vet did another ultrasound (no charge to us…Praise God!) 2 days ago and found that her liver was enlarged and swelling, also she had some enlarged lymphnodes. He determined that she had lymphoma. We decided not to do treatment or any further testing because there is no cure and who knows how long it would of extended her life and we didn’t want her miserable….so we brought her home….this morning, she got up and drank 3 bowls of water (PRAISE GOD)…she went out to go potty and I couldn’t get her back in, my hubby had to come home to get her up and got her back inside, for the next 3-4 hours we loved on her and decided to take her back to the 2nd vet and we knew it was time. It was very peaceful and she is now with Jesus (I know some don’t think that dogs go to Heaven, I do, and there is nothing to convince me otherwise).

We are heartbroken, but we know that we did every possible thing we could for her (we tried every type of food to get her to eat), we tried different medicines, we loved on her continuously, prayed over her, released her, and finally did what was best for her…we miss her greatly, but we know that she is with Him, running and playing and we will see her again!!!

We miss you Princess Leia! We had a wonderful 8 1/2 years with you here. Love you forever sweet girl!

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